I’ve always had trouble keeping my thoughts in my head. Being the creative type, my mind is always full of clutter. What to say next? What words would cut the deepest? What point can I make to ensure this idiot understands?…
It’s all pointless.
Ultimately, as long as two people are different (which let’s be honest – we all are) communication and understanding will always be a lifelong battle.
You’re beautiful. Your wisdom is as sexy as the smile on your face. You’re effortless. Like a summers breeze you feel so perfect against ones skin. Everywhere you go there is light. You cannot hide in the dark, for your eyes glisten so intently. Your stride is fearless; like a lion in the jungle you roam free. Desired by the masses your life is a glamorous ball gown. Shimmering and exotic. Floating across the ground you dazzle the room.
But so does she.
Her hair is soft like silk; her face a work a art. Like a vintage library her mind is timeless. She is loved, and she loves herself. Her body radiates tempting sounds of lust. A simple glance will leave your heartbeat dancing like love-struck teenagers. She is beautiful.
All of a sudden your worth has gone. Who are you anymore? What is beauty if it isnt like hers? How can you compare to a work of art like this woman before you? You are nobody. How confusing. How can you be a summers breeze when this woman is a winters night? Cold and frosty with a warm exotic centre full of content and fiery passion. You feel defeated. All that once was, feels no more. You walk away, leaving your stardom behind.
How do you feel about being lost? I don’t mean taking a left turn when you’re meant to take a right turn kind of lost, but lost in life. Lost as a person. How do you deal with it?
I’m not sure what factors contribute to me freaking out whenever I feel lost but I do know that it’s not something I welcome with open arms.
Feeling lost feels like failure. I push my confusions away and proceed to carry on making mundane decisions and plodding along as if I’m going to live forever.
I feel like social media warriors have programmed a large percentage of us to feel inferior when we don’t seem to be flying high with wads of cash for breakfast. People will laugh at you if you’re not owning your own business by 21. They’ll laugh if you live in London but don’t earn at least 60k. People will call you a side plate of garlic bread if the guy you’re with hasn’t put a ring on it yet.
Waves crashing. Like a grain of sand you’re swept into the sea. You drown, but you relish it. You’re dreaming yet you’re awake; a fantasy unfolding before you. It’s physical but unseen. You’re a whirlwind. Fiercely you smile, like the Eiffel tower lights you shine. You tower over the world below. With every breath is hope. You acknowledge the world, like looking into a telescope for the first time. You never knew you looked like this. You’re dancing. You have won. Like the grain of sand so submerged into the depths of the sea you’re rejoicing at how free the waves make you feel. Deafening heartbeat. You’re so lost yet so found. Like a ballerina you keep spinning. Nothing stops you spinning. How can euphoria smell so sweet? There is no end. The day and night become entwined. As your heavy eyes lay to rest for a moment, you wonder what got you here.
It was love. You think.
(Poem written by me – 11/11/15)
As some of you know, in February of this year I took an inpatient leap of faith and all over bleached my long brown hair – in one day. You can catch up on that experience here.
As you can imagine, going from brunette to blonde is a hard task and not one that gave me much joy as I battled with the condition of it and tried to support its health on a budget – if you want to catch up on that post you can see that here.
Its been 8 months since my transformation and you’ll all be glad to know that for a while now I have really enjoyed being blonde. From achieving an all over platinum colour to chopping the dead ends off and going short, I’ve sported an array of styles and shades since that long, painful day in February.
It’s every young woman’s nightmare. Waking up one day and either finding a grey hair (not me yet, thank God) or spotting a wrinkle from one too many sunbeds and alcohol fuelled nights out. We’re only young we can’t possibly be dealing with the signs of ageing just yet. I mean I have so many other things to worry about like who’s going to fund my next holiday because I obviously don’t want to pay for it myself.
But fear not. Below are 10 simple things you can do to prevent those terrible signs of ageing. I know for one I do not wish to be 35 looking 53 and we all know white people generally age like milk so I guess I should be making a conscious effort to stay well maintained. Join me by taking a look at the following…
If like me you have a small seizure when faced with a new spot, you are most likely thinking of what you can do to get rid of the offensive piece of shit. With everybody’s skin so dramatically different to one another and speculation that spots on certain areas of the face represent different things, it’s hard to find a solution that works perfectly for everyone.
Contrary to popular belief, smothering your face in an array of spot fighting/anti aging/moisterisng creams doesn’t necessarily make your skin any better. Too many products will confuse therefore irritate your skin leaving it the same if not worse than before.
“I’ve been hurt in the past”. So have I mate, whassyapoint?
Why does my invitation to your heart
bed have to be revoked because you’re having flashbacks of Stuart from finance smashing your ex? Why do I need to hang up because you’re too busy singing Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Because of You’ to answer the phone? At what point do we accept that our hearts have been broken in the past but moving on is the key to rebuilding it?
Many of us have heard or used the phrase “stuck in limbo” which describes a feeling of discomfort about where we are in our lives and the lack of movement there seems to be in moving forward. It’s natural to visit this phase occasionally because we wouldn’t be human if we never faced tough decisions or felt disappointed at not being where our imaginations want us to be.
I feel like I’m lingering on the outside of the limbo phase at the moment and it sucks more than opening a bag of Walkers crisps and finding only 6 crisps inside.
Fast cars, famous nightclubs, beautiful cities and equally beautiful rally models: welcome to Pure Rally.
Pure Rally is nothing short of a Fast & Furious film trailer. A flock of cars gather at the famous Aces Café in London to prepare for an exhilarating journey across the country spanning over 4 days 3 nights. Speeding the highways in convoy and dancing the night away in glamorous attire is the aim of the game and everyone is ready and waiting for takeoff.
This particular rally was the 2015 beach run. Starting in London on a humid Friday morning cars arrived one by one ready for the action.